Humor: Dog Haikus


Your dinner must be
better than mine- I will
sniff it longingly

Round, green and fuzzy
What? You say it is no good?
I will make it mine.

A stick! A stick! A
stick! A stick! A stick! A stick!
A stick! A stick! Thanks!

You did not walk me
this morning.Shame. I befouled
your fancy carpet.

"J'embrasse le chien
sur les levres," is what you say.
But I don't know French.

A stick! A stick! A
smelly sock! Dirty laundry!
Oh! I'm in heaven!

No. My toenails are
not too long. No. I will not
Let you trim them.

What mud? It was just
a small puddle.It came to
my belly. What mud?

The cat! The cat! TheŠ
ouch! The cat! The cat! Ouch! The
cat! The cat! The cat!

Cat turds, freshly laid,
are delightful to eat. But
the old ones crunch more.

A dead thing to roll
in. Ah ecstasy! You don't
like the smell of it?

It is all in good fun.
I hump your leg because it
is there. Do you mind?

My nose. It is a
delicate instrument. May I
shove it in your crotch?

I have an itch. I
will scratch mercilessly. I
will share it with you.

Your pillows? You think
these are your pillows? I think
they are my pillows.

These panties of yours
were so delicious like an
eclaire! What? You're mad?!

Were those expensive
leather shoes I did not know.
They were toys to me.

Rumble from below.
I ate something dead. You gag
and run away, What?

I dig, dig, dig, dig.
I want to go to China.
Airfare is not cheap.

I hang my head in
dismay. I am guilty of something
I know not what

A bone! A bone! I
must find a place to bury
it. Your bed will do.

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Updated October 2000
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